Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Me: Hey… the procedure went okay but they are keeping me in ICU overnight.
Boss: Glad it went well. See you online on Friday.
I had been diagnosed with an acute DVT (blood clot) that went from my ankle to my groin. The pain that led me to the doctor in the first place had been lingering for weeks. Taking off work to go see the doctor was not an option, so I had waited until a Saturday to visit a walk-in clinic.
Since my mom had been killed, work-life balance was something I had struggled with. It was far easier to pour myself into work than to step back and make an effort to show myself some self-care. So 18 months after that life-altering event, I found myself 40 pounds heavier, sitting in bi-weekly marriage counseling sessions, and working 60 hours a week.
Never again, I said. Never again.
I started down a path of reclaiming my health through proactive, natural care. And for the last two years, I have been less dependent on over-the-counter medicines and haven’t racked up $18k in medical expenses like I did in 2017… which is great.
It’s Labor Day weekend and I’ve been eating, sleeping, and working. In one week, I get to take the first vacation time I’ve had this year. When I start to think about it, I start getting emotional. Nine months without taking some vacation time is too long. I’ve gained another 20 pounds, been battling with infertility, and my doctor gave me an ultimatum: get on anxiety/depression meds or go to inpatient therapy.
I keep looking forward to my vacation time… and today was reflecting on why this break, for the doTERRA Convention, means so much to me.
I have a team in place right now that I firmly believe can rise to the occasion and hold the fort down while I’m out of office.
I have a manager that will support me taking a week-long vacation. Note: This is not the manager from 2017 - there have been seven different ones since then. Yes, seven.
I work in a male-dominated industry. In fact, I help make up part of the 15% of our company that is female. The conference that I’m going to with two girl friends is female-dominated.
Convention is a time that I can experience excitement, inspiration, and have time for self-reflection.
A lot of my anxiety stems from a work environment that I feel like I have to justify my existence on a daily basis. Some of that comes from external forces, but some is from internal. This pressure has kept me, until today, from being honest about my current mindset, from sharing with some of my online communities that I’ve been a doTERRA Wellness Advocate for 2 years, and revealing that I have real, legitimate daily struggles that impact my family life and mental health.
I look forward to next week and the dedicated time I will get to spend with people that value me as a person, as a business partner, as an educator…. and that will empower me to reclaim the journey I started in 2017.
And yes, it’s like a diet… I’ll start next Monday…back to work.